Sometimes having two boys drives me......nuts!

They bicker. They fight. They seem to deliberately antagonise and provoke each other, and this, more than anything else, makes me crazy. 
Yesterday was one of those days when I felt like I could not tolerate one more he said/he did/snot fair mediation scenario....I was on the verge of cracking like a rotten egg and stinking up the world with my fumes of fury and frustration.
So, after chatting about this with Gav last night, we decided to separate today and go our own ways...
Gav and Flex went on a Turramurra trampoline purchase adventure, while Lucky and I cruised down the road with dogs and bike, baked two cakes, played ping-pong, washed the horse and packed our snow gear. (We are off to the snow on monday but that's a different story...)
It was lovely. And quiet. Like a sweet little holiday. Lucky got to play Minecraft ALL BY HIMSELF (without his well meaning big brother who constantly offers to build stuff for him therefore taking away the purpose of the game). We went slow...and skipped fast (without worldy big brother telling us skipping is 'for girls'), we threw rocks into the creek listening for the wonderful sound of a 'duck fart' (without competetive big brother subtly reminding us that his throw was a bit louder/further/better). Yes, it was lovely.

Sometimes homeschooling feels a little bit claustrophobic and I worry that the boys spend so much time together that they will grow up and never want to see each other ever again. But then I remember this:

and this:

and a million other joful brotherlove moments, and I realise that no matter what, wether they go to school or not, they will always be very different people....with different ideas, opinions and styles of living. They may fight on and off their whole lives, be best mates or agree to disagree amiably. But they will always be brothers - nothing will change that, and nobody will ever replace this bond of blood (sweat and tears hahaha).
And let me tell you, when Flex and Gav came home there was one excited little brother waiting for them down the road, and one super happy big brother proud to tell the great tale of the trampoline....

Extraordinary moments happen everyday. It's just that we don't always have our eyes open enough to notice them! I like breaking the word down into 'extra' and 'ordinary' - it emphasises the normality of such moments, while retaining the idea that they are somehow.....special.

Our big chestnut Jester has been on lawnmowing duty around the house over the last few days, so we awoke this morning to find him peeking in through the kitchen window. We opened the door, chopped up an apple, and hey presto! A horse in the house! (I only recommend this with horse that you know really well and that don't spook easily - for obvious reasons.) Needless to say all of us (horse included) had pretty big apple juice coated smiles on!!!
A surreal, fun, comfortable and all round extraordinary moment. In fact, I think I'm going to start a page devoted to moments like this. Stay tuned....
As spring has been, well, springing, I have been spending a bit of time in the garden weeding, mulching and prepping for a big plant out soon of all the spring/summer vegies. It's just sooooo good being out there, sun shining, bees humming, birds twittering (yes 'twitter' is something birds did way before us), earth smelling, oxygen absorbing...you get the idea.
My other extraordinary moment occurred while hunting snails to feed to the chooks. I collected the snails, put them in a bucket and then glanced down at them, and wham! bam! I was transfixed by their slow, graceful brown ballet of glistening antennae, spiral shells and ability to defy gravity....so beautiful. I had a moment of compassion for all living things, of turmoil at feeding them to the hulking chickens, of true appreciation and gratitude for their small slimy lives.
Extraordinary moments people. Slow down a little and you'll notice them EVERYWHERE!
xoxoxo
PS Click 'play' below for an extraordinary song by Joel Plaskett......

What a beauty!!!! Daikon radish, crunchy and slightly peppery in flavour. Hilariously suggestive. Straight from the garden and into our tummies for dinner....

It was that time of the month today. Not in a womanly eat chocolate, cry at ads on the telly and feel like crap sense - in a Mangrove Mountain Country Markets sense! (See the 'Country Market' page on this site for more info.) It was time to BEE CREATIVE! Both of my boys were enjoying a sleepover at their good friend's house for his birthday, so I seized the moment of being 'boy free' and made my art theme for the day really girly - painting flowers.
As spring has well and truly sprung here, the flora is bursting forth in all shapes and colours, bearing fragrances, bees and the glory of nature. So this morning I did a quick skip around the farm and picked an armload of different flowers - which was fun enough on it's own - and set up the art table at the markets with a basket of paints (thanks gorgeous Glenda), a variety of brushes, paper and scattered the blooms all around. And sure enough, the girls flocked towards it.....
We painted images and interpretations of majestic gymea lilies, cheeky wattle, waterlillies, pale pink azaleas, vibrant white daisies and a few flowers that were only seen in the imaginations of the young artists. But no one painted the orchid.
And then the highlight of my day happened.
A young girl, curly dark hair, smiling eyes full of intention....walked up to the art table and said:
"Hey painting lady, what do we do?"
"Just pick a flower that you like the look of and paint it!"

She had literally picked up the big creamy orchid, found a brush and some colour she liked, and started applying paint to its petals, one by one!
When I first noticed what she was doing, the 'grown up' voice in my head said 'No! Thats not what I meant!', but that only lasted about a millisecond before my getting-stronger-by-the-day inner child voice said out loud:
"WOW! That looks GREAT! Can I take a photo?"
Kinda proud and kinda bemused by my enthusiasm she let me photograph her emerging artwork at varying stages of transformation. Here they are:

This 'flower painting', more than anything else, had reminded me of a few important things....firstly, never assume that people know what you mean when you say something. Children (and adults) often take your words literally, and it is important to be really clear in giving instructions. Or not! Because sometimes, misinterpreting, or interpreting something literally, can result in an accidental creation of the greatest wonder and awesomeness!
It is GREAT to do things differently.
It is GREAT to give words your own meaning.
This painted glitter encrusted orchid is freakin' FANTASTIC!!!
Just for an hour tomorrow, imagine what might happen if you took things literally....
Or didn't look at what everyone else was doing, and 'painted an orchid'......;)

Aaaaaaah to experience horse love.....
Today we had a bunch of homeschooling families come to the farm for a 'horse day'. Everyone learnt a bit about horse anatomy (they have a frog in their hooves), horse care (they need lots of tlc) and had a ride. Jester the chestnut horse and Casper the rescue pony ever so patiently donated their wonderful selves to the throng of curious children...the sun shone and I hope everyone enjoyed the 'freedom farm' vibe.
There were a fair few kids who rode for the first time today and it got me thinking.....one thing that I want to give my kids is experiences. The more things we experience (horse riding, splatter painting, rock climbing, skiing etc etc ad infinitum), the more experienced we become. The more facets we add to the glorious prism that is our lives.
For me riding a horse isn't just sitting on a warm beast. It is about connection with another species, about strength and responsibility, about sitting tall and checking out a different view. And every child experienced it differently. Some enjoyed teaching others to ride, some enjoyed the feel of the horses hair, some loved to watch them move.
I enjoyed their enjoyment!!!!

Today, I taught the boys a very important lesson. How to say "Piss Off!"
'Hmmmmm....not so sure about this unschooling thing ' I hear you say. Please read on......

It all started off with budgies. We travelled out to Belconyn, a lovely lake-side area on the central coast, and the boys bought two gorgeous little budgies to put in our new aviary. We took them home, and settled 'Cloudy' and 'Wattle' in with food, water and some parsley leaves. Knowing we have lots of visitors coming tomorrow, I suggested that Flex make a sign asking people to keep the aviary door shut. Well, that opened a can of worms....Flex has insecurities about his writing, and knowing people were going to be reading his sign, these self doubts all flared up like the proverbial hounds of hell.
"But my writing is horrible!" he exclaimed after ripping up his 4th attempt to write the 'perfect' sign. The more he doubted himself, the angrier he got, the more mistakes he made etc etc. He worked himself into a real tizz. His insecurites pushed my buttons and I flared up too telling him to get over it, they were HIS birds and he WAS going to write the sign no matter what.
After feeling the heat of the argument for a few moments I realised that he was not angry with me for making him write the sign, his anger was with the voices in his head that were telling him he was a 'crap writer' and that his 'writing sucks'. These were words he had heard from a kid at school and for whatever reason, they have really stayed with him.
So, listening to my intuition (which I think I'm getting better at - it's only taken 35 years!), I said to him:
"You know what you should say to someone who is putting you down? PISS OFF!!"
Both he and Lucky stared at me. I don't normally swear (in front of the kids anyway), and they didn't know whether to laugh or scold me.
"Let's practice. Lucky, your nose looks weird."
"Piss off mum!" (giggle)
"Flex, your writing is really crappy."
"PISS OFF!" (Sly smile - first of the afternoon)

We then spent a great deal of the evening laughing at each other's made up insults and practicing different ways we can say these two magic little words. Imagine how much we could achieve if every time our inner saboteur said "you can't do it", "you aren't any good at that" or whatever your inner saboteur says, you came back with a good solid "Piss OFF!". We could move mountains I tell ya!!!

Lo and behold, several hours later Flex went back to his task and created a bold, firm, red sign to protect the little birdies from the ghastly threat of open aviary doors. He went to bed a proud boy, hopefully with a small but useful tool for living a good life.

What do you think? Should we empower our kids with swear words? I tossed around "Go away!" and "I don't agree!" but for me, neither of these options have anywhere near the oomph and satisfaction of a good strong "Piss Off!". I'm interested in your thoughts.....

We have had a fab couple of days of home school excursions/adventures...and an epiphany to boot!
Firstly, we did the Sydney Monorail 'treasure hunt' on monday and thoroughly enjoyed searching for clues on and off the monorail, soaking up the city vibes, and eating at the longest sushi train we had ever seen. All while maintaining extremely cheesy piratical accents. Aaaaarrrgh me hearties!
Then tuesday was a poolfest at the Olympic Aquatic centre in Homebush. We. Love. This. Pool. We especially love it on a schoolday when we can pretend it's our private aqua haven, as opposed to school holidays or weekends when it turns into HUMAN SOUP!!!
Anyway, if you haven't been, one of the stand out features of this pool is the 'river rapids'. A deliciously strong current carries you around a big loop and you can choose to:
float along peacefully
swim with it and go REALLY FAST
try to swim against it
hold onto the side until you are exhausted, your fingers cramp and you get water up your nose.

What fascinated me was that my preference was for the first two options. As it seemed, was the preference of everyone my age or older. HOWEVER, all the kids seemed to spend at least 3/4 of their time struggling AGAINST the current! Finding new ways to NOT go with the flow! This got me to thinking.....
I constantly advocate 'going with the flow', and Gav and I talk alot about 'struggle' and how to overcome it in life. But we need to be really careful to not discourage struggle in the lives of our children. They LIKE it. They LEARN from it. It seems to be how they strengthen the muscles of their bodies and minds. Just as you can't help a chicken out of it's egg, or a butterfly out of it's chrysalis, you must let your children struggle to find out who they are, what they believe and how they want to live. And that, as parents, is hard!!
Knowing where to step in and when to hold back is one of the greatest skills we can develop. I see it like this....
if my child was swimming in a river and appeared to be scared/tired/struggling then splash I'm in there and I don't even stop to take the iphone out of my pocket. However, them splurting, giggling and gurgling, copping a foot to the face and water up the nose while 'fighting' the rapids at the pool....this was a joy to watch and take arty photos of with aforementioned iphone. While savouring the epiphany I must add.......
Love to all xoxoxo

With Gav away at a 'rowing reunion' last night, it was up to me to take both boys to a party where I knew there would be no other kids....to a house full of expensive stuff......in the pouring rain.....hmmmmm....'at least it's only down the road and I can make a quick getaway if I need to', thought I....so, on with our best formal jackets (the party was in honour of a new grand piano after all) and gumboots, a deep breath and off we go!
Well, I should have known, with my wonderful neighbours N and J as hosts, it was bound to be a great night with FABULOUS food and warm welcoming company, but the biggest surprise for me was how much I enjoyed having my children there! Don't get me wrong, I definitely value kid-free time, especially at grown up gatherings. Having the freedom to sit and chat uninterrupted for more than 5  minutes, quaff wine and swear is sweet and rejuvenating for any parent. But since becoming a funschooling mum, I have to say, rather than wanting more time away from my kids, I actually have a greater appreciation of their company! Who woulda thunk it? Spend MORE time with your kids and crave LESS time without them!!?? Well that's today anyway!!
At the party:
the boys both ate their first oyster. (Only one though!!)
helped with the food prep and cooking
played on the new piano
played 'find the car/splatter/seagull/radiant children painting' (pop art treasure hunt!)
tried a mandolin and a banjo
played drums
'rescued' a frog off the driveway and 'freed' it into the dam
pored over the stunning 'Wood' photo book by Andy Goldsworthy, making plans to create some of our own
chatted and interacted with both familiar and 'new' adult friends.

The best part is, they had a BALL, felt completely comfortable and......so did I!!

Thanks you so much N and J and our FANTASTIC neighbours for including the kids in a wonderful night.
And thanks to both boys for shining so bright! Truly radiant!

"...very happy people differ markedly from both average and unhappy people in that they all lead a rich and fulfilling social life." - Martin E.P Seligman - 'Authentic Happiness'
"So how about socialisation? Don't they miss out on that?" - Almost everyone who finds out we home school our kids. And I mean EVERYONE.

So, here it goes...every home schooler I have met, and indeed even our lovely dept of ed rep acknowledges that this is the MOST frequently asked questions by non home schoolers. And it would seem from examining the  quote by Seligman, for good reason. We humans are not solitary animals. We thrive on community, group play and social interaction. But why people think this disappears when you home school, I don't really know. You don't suddenly hole up in a cave and silently study all day! (Well we don't anyway!)
My kids socialise with neighbours, with old school friends, with home school friends, with adults, with teenagers, with animals, with grandparents, cousins, bike shop owners, each other....you get the picture.  I admit that some days here on the farm, when we are a 45 minute drive away from the nearest available 'friend', Flex can get a little maudlin and bemoan the fact that he's 'bored' and there's 'nobody to play with', but I can tell you that occurs much less often than the deep sadness he experienced at school when overwhelmed with the constant presence and pressure of people with whom he found it difficult to get on with. And it's fleeting.
And I have to admit - I can relate!! When we first moved here I was really scared of getting 'lonely'. Of 'missing people'. Of losing my conversation abilities. Duh - I have felt lonely in the middle of the city, and surrounded by people. And guess what! There's this great thing called a telephone! And this even greater thing called the internet! And this truly stupendous thing called neighbours/community!! I can still talk!
It seems like the biggest difference is that now we have a choice about when and with who we socialise, and that in itself brings true joy. We really enjoy our days to 'ourselves' here in the bush, and we equally thrive on our goodtimes with others. And the boys still have to practice sharing, taking turns, listening, compassion - this doesn't change - only the pressure to 'perform' socially is diminished.
For example, on the day the photo was taken, the boys did gymnastics with a group of about 25 home school kids (and yes, they lined up!!! and took turns!!! and listened to their instructors!!!), played with about 12 newish friends - girls, boys, toddlers, teenagers, parents as well - picked up their bikes and chatted at length with the awesome guys at the bike shop, then went swimming at the pool with two older (not in age, in time known) friends. Phew! A social banquet!!! Followed by two rainy indoor days here at the farm with 'just' the family.....aaaaaah.....balance is achieved.
Which brings me back to the quote at the top of this entry. Seligman goes on to examine the reality that this statement is fraught with variables. His book on the science of happiness is really interesting and his overall theory seems to be, rather than 'fixing' your weaknesses, FOCUS instead on your strengths. It seems obvious, but was a real revelation to me, especially in the realms of parenting. You can do an online quiz to find out your 'key strengths' - google 'authentic happiness' and go for it! Enjoy the self discovery.......and there's a quiz for kids as well.
So, lets catch up for a coffee (or vino) and a chat soon!!

Aaaah, it's raining.....and so I am happy and excited, not for the 'proper country' reason that the rain will be filling up our water tanks (although thats great), but because it means I don't have to stick to my promise (to myself) of going for a walk first thing in the morning, and can start writing this blog instead! You know you are onto something when you lie in bed smiling to yourself at the thought of it...
Now lying in bed in the morning has to be one of the greatest joys known to humans (those of us lucky enough to have beds that is). It is warm, it is comfortable, you can snuggle up with your man/woman/child/teddy bear/pillow and steal some precious moments of 'just' being. AND wait for it - it is also EDUCATIONAL!! Let me use this morning as an example:
Lucky: How many days to my birthday? (Yes those were his first words upon waking - I'm sure many of you recognise them!)
Me: Hmmm....let's work it out. (We go through how many days in a week, in a month, add them up then come to our conclusion. A pause follows where he is obviously contemplating this. We then do the same for my birthday).
Lucky: A camel holds water you know.
Me: Yep, in it's hump.
Lucky: Not just in it's hump mum, also in it's poo.
Me: (Giggling) That's very true.
Lucky: And it's not only called 'poo', you can also call it 'scat', 'dung' and (dramatic pause) 'camel crap'.
Me: (Full blown laughter by now) I have to get up and start on my blog!
The boys chose to stay in bed and discuss the design and merits of a backpack with jets in it and hiking boots with rockets fitted to them.
So, as you can see we have included the 'KLA's' (Key Learning Areas of NSW Curriculum) of Maths, Science and English as well as the MORE important areas of imagination, conversation skills, comedy and relationship building - all while being warm and comfy in bed!!!!
I know these kind of conversations didn't happen nearly as much when we had the pressure of 'get up, get dressed, make lunches, get OFF your DS, eat your breakfast NOW we have to GO!!!!' to deal with.
Now, I have to make an important point. I do not plan on any school bashing in this blog. I am not anti-school. We spent time at two schools - one public, and one private - but at the end of the day, home schooling was the better option for us right now. With different personalities, different geography, different circumstances we may never have chosen to home educate, but we are SO GLAD we did. And that is my intention here - to write on the joys of home schooling, not on the 'bad stuff' about going to a school. A comparison may creep in unannounced and under the cover of darkness, but I honestly respect everyone's individual decisions about their families. Please respect mine.
Gotta go, while I have been writing the fire has died and I must resurrect it if there is any hope of dry washing and warm people today....