I am, at this stage, equal parts excited and nervous. Did you know that physiologically, fear and excitement manifest themselves almost exactly the same? Raised heartbeat, sweatiness, butterflies in the tummy. The main difference is the breath. When we are scared we tend to take short, shallow breaths and when excited larger, deeper ones. I'm trying to breathe well at the moment!
The only reason I am nervous is that I have taken on the trepidation of others. As so often happens, we are fine with something until we hear someone else's opinion of it! "Oh that would be so hard", " you are so brave", "that sounds like my version of hell!", etc etc.
I am sure it will be hard. But only if I believe in the concept of 'hard'. My truth is that I am excited to be quiet. So much of my life is spent externalising and expressing myself and filling all the gaps with music or writing or 'doing' stuff, that I am rarely still. And truly, how often do we get the chance to have a thought and follow it down the rabbit hole.....?
I'm nervous about the prolonged sitting. I am not a great sitter and even the 15 minutes of sitting during a yoga class causes me discomfort. But really, that feels like such a first world problem.
After 10 years of being a parent and being a human in this busy world, this feels like a pretty magical opportunity. I may sound naive and may have a completely different view in 10 days time, but for now, I am going to attempt to examine the belief that all the wisdom we need lies within us.
I am going to be with me for 10 days.
See you on the other side.....